The two Immunotherapy trials we were excited about were filled and closed this past week. What exactly does that mean for me?
For starters, it means I will have to stay on chemotherapy until another trial is available. The oncologist says that we will continue with this particular chemotherapy until either my body developes a tolerance or the side effects become too much. At that point, we will change to a new type of chemotherapy. I have my first CT scan, since starting chemotherapy, on the 13th of May but no results until the following Tuesday. This will tell us how well the chemotherapy is doing its job.
It, also, means that I have been assured that there will be no surgeries. Because the cancer is in my lungs, making it unremovable, the doctors do not feel that there is a need to remove the other sites once the chemotherapy reduces them to “no evidence of disease.” Bummer, I was hoping for a set of perky, new knockers.
Now, I realize that this news can be a little tough to swallow at first. It may seem discouraging. But let’s look at it from another point of few. First, a real Cinderella story only exists if there is something truly amazing to overcome. So, the bleaker the odds the better the story. Second, I have spent my whole life being prepared for this trial. While tough choices have to be made, they are my choices to make. I choice to live! Screw cancer! It could shorten a life but it can’t take it away. Life is defined as “a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul.” My soul is infinite so what does cancer have on me? Nothing! It can take nothing from me that I don’t give it!
This last bout of chemotherapy went well. The pain from the Neulasta shot was not nearly as intense. I did have some neuropathy in my hands that was new but it seems to be going away. I figure if I have to be on chemotherapy for a long period of time then there’s a reason for it. It gives me time to organize my house. I get more time to teach and guide my children. Besides, I am growing more accustomed to how my mind is starting to shift. I like how it has started to connect patterns that I haven’t seen before and my tolerance of people is increasing. As a high school kid I had a sign in my room that read “Stupid People Suck.” I don’t feel that way anymore. I think I was stupid for not seeing people’s inadequacies as an opportunity for service.
Anyway, plans are a little different. No Huntsman until a new trial opens up, hopefully this year, but probably not until 2017. Until then, all you Idaho Falls Natives are graced with my presence. LOL.