I Hate Runners…Can I Be One

I hate runners.  They are obnoxious.  They eat good, with the exception of those that overly-consume Diet Coke.  Then, these over-zealous people feel a need to compel others to join their movement.  Runners become obsessed with shoes and gadgets and training schedules, as if they were prophetic.  I even know a few runners that are linked by their gadgets so that they can worry about whether or not they are out doing each other – because we don’t already have enough to put ourselves down about.

FItbit cartoon

Why do I hate them so badly?  Because I want to be one.  I want to worry about planning my week around my “long run,” instead of worrying about whether I can get out of my chair on chemo week or not.  I want to finish a run knowing I’m going to ache from every muscle instead of walk to wear the ache off.  I am just plain jealous of all those bouncy geeks, incapable of holding still at a stoplight.  I want to be them and until I am, I will secretly want to run them all over as I drive past.

Some of you know, but this past year I ran in the Grand Teton Relay.  It is a 180 mile relay that is dIMG_2723ivided amongst a 12 person team.  I’m still not sure how I got conned into it but I’m  sure that the people at work had something to do with it.  Then, our dear Jorge said he’d sponsor if I ran.  The real killer was when Amanda (seen on the left, Katie is the middle) played my kryptonite card and told me to get my brother to join the team.  It was a sealed deal.


Jorge, Omar, Emily, Licia (spelling is off), Danyelle, Scott, Mary, Lance,                                Marle, Meigan (spelling is off), Katie, Amanda

It was probably the stupidest thing I have ever been involved in.  But by far, it was one of the most fun things I have ever been part of.  It was such a cool experience that we seized the opportunity and paid the fee to get the early registration price only months after running it.  We all figured either the team would recommit or we would be able to find new suckers, willing to run with us for a couple free T-shirts, 36 hours in smelly car, and the chance to laugh until your stomach aches.

This whole cancer diagnosis really threw me off.  I just plain didn’t have it planned to have cancer and to have chemotherapy every three weeks.  I surrendered my place on the team…until yesterday.  Amanda has convinced me once again, although Josue and my mom joining the bandwagon didn’t make it easy to get out of.  This is my public commitment to the Dragon Ash Team of 2016.  I am going to train to run the relay as Runner One.  I will have three  legs, all under 4 miles each.  The last one is the toughest, but is all down hill.  I hear that the last one comes with a view I will want a picture of and the chance to see wildlife on the road (yes, I am poking fun of Marle for running slow enough to point out a snail on the road.)  The race is taking place on August 19-20 so it will be after a chemo week. I have been told that, unless I am in Utah at Huntsman, I have the full support of Amanda to run her legs and mine with me if needed.  Although, I know others would do it with me because our team is so freaking awesome.

There will be changes to the team this year.  Some of our runners have formed their own team and others have decided they are allergic to running.  By allergic I mean, every time they run they end up breaking out with a bad case of complaints.  They will be easily replaced by good people, willing to join our troop.  Jorge and Amanda, and yes I have this in a text so it is in writing and can’t be taken back, have agreed that if I run despite fatigue that will eventually settle in, they will take legs 8 and 9.  For those who don’t know, legs 8 and 9 are climbing Targhee and then later climbing the Jackson Pass.  So, for any team members that have not recommitted, there is still time.  You don’t have to run your same leg and I have seats in my car.  It feels good to have a goal.  It feels good to be part of a team, new members included.  I needed a little extra motivation and I am glad to have such great people to believe in me, even if my times will be a bit slower.



4 thoughts on “I Hate Runners…Can I Be One

  1. tanya says:

    Impressive, I’m training for the Sawtooth Relay and it is only 2 legs a little over 5 miles each, and it’s kicking my butt! It is my first relay and I hope I have as much fun as you!

    Liked by 1 person

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